From blog to book: 5 things I learnt along the way

June 21, 2017 § 7 Comments

On December 18th, 2015, I posted a blog entry: the option for my first book, Trans Like Me, had been picked up by Virago, for UK and Commonwealth publication. It’s a year and a half later – and I’ve been in bookstores for nearly a month, with American publication scheduled for next year with Seal Press.

Trans Like Me Side view

When I first began this blog, back in 2010, I never imagined that what I wrote and explored here would form the foundation of a book. I did want to write a book about gender – about being transgender in particular – but always figured it would be an academic text with a long and referential name. I’d seen people blogging with the express intention of getting a book deal, and wasn’t impressed – the results too often veered between transparent and inauthentic, and flat-out desperate.

But plans pan out in odd ways, and (amazingly), here we are. A piece of advice which has always helped me is to write what you’ve needed to read. It’s certainly what I tried to do with Trans Like Me – and I thought it might be useful to do the same thing about what I wished I’d known about the process of writing for publication. Not the nuts and bolts of finding an agent and selling a book (good advice found here) – but some steps which helped me move from writing from a smaller to a larger audience, and to find exactly what it was I needed to write.

 

1. Define your core values

I began blogging for a number of reasons: because I’d been writing for online publications since my teens and had missed it, because I wanted to be part of a broader conversation, and because I wanted to reach out and find more people at least a little like me. Two other reasons: I thought it would help my career in general, and because I believed I had something useful to say. I got the confidence to put those reasons in practice through a workshop I attended at the MIDEM conference in January 2011. Amidst the corporate horror and music-as-commodity, there was some amazing advice on how to build a career as an independent musician. First and foremost: ‘define your values’.

You could be cynical, and call it ‘building a brand’ – but it’s more than that, and deeper. The rest of the seminars talked about creating a persona to sell copy with – but this one workshop explained how to find the best in yourself, learn how to get comfortable with it, and to communicate those values to others. To become secure enough in who you know yourself to be that it becomes your calling card, and protection against the kinds of quick and easy temptations that can scupper a career.

I figured that the best I could bring to my work was my sincerity, my love of knowledge, and my willingness to turn that knowledge on its side and see what changes. Those values gave me a lens to work through, and – when my career picked up and a range of offers started coming in – an easy way to filter out those that didn’t mesh with my deepest instincts. Trust me: if you’re any kind of marginalized writer, the majority of interest you’re shown at the beginning will be on the condition that you fit yourself into a predetermined niche. Knowing what I was best at, what I was proud of, and what lines I wouldn’t cross made it easier to turn down work from tabloids that spread hatred, not to sell a sob story and ‘before’ and ‘after’ photos. Most of us have to make compromises as we go – but I’m really glad I decided on what I would and wouldn’t do before I was put to the test.

 

2. Define your intent

Who are you writing for? Yourself, your friends, your community, the wider world? What is it that they want to read? And how are you prepared to challenge both them and yourself?

I think it’s okay not to know those answers starting out, and to be totally prepared for those answers to change – maybe over time, maybe piece by piece. But I don’t think I would have grown as a writer if I hadn’t paid close attention to which pieces resonated with which readers, and learned how to balance my need for expression with others’ need for information and understanding.

After a few years of writing I noticed that it was my more educational posts that were getting the most hits and shares, and the best feedback. It gave (it gives) me pleasure, and purpose, to be able to help people to learn, and my educational posts were the ones that led to my most high profile and profitable commissions. Snarky, personal posts? Not so much. And, to be honest, I didn’t enjoy them so much, although they felt cathartic to write – I didn’t feel like I was expressing myself so well, and I wasn’t sure how much I was adding to anyone else’s day. So I stopped worrying about writing those feelings and thoughts up as posts: I can send my friends long, snarky rants without anything held back, and can focus the small amount of writing time I have on playing to my strengths.

 

3. Forge connections

This was the hardest step. I’m a performer, so most people assume that I’m super confident at all times. But I’ve had plenty of experience of being judged, hated and excluded – I don’t often find networking as easy as it might look on the outside.

Nevertheless, there’s no way I would have landed a book deal without the kindness of others. And I think that, for most people who want to move from blogging to mainstream/paid publication, forging connections is an essential part of the job.

There’s a lot that’s been written about how to play people and tilt the field in your favour – I’m not so sure about that. But what I have found to help:
* See possibilities everywhere. I was introduced to my agent, Laura Macdougall, by the writer Kaite Welsh. I’d met Kaite through the website the F word – I’d sent a press release for a classical concert, Kaite reviewed it, and I reached out to say thank you. She got in contact for an interview, we bonded, she fell off a stage, the interview was pulled…but we stayed in contact. Which leads to my second point…
* Don’t be afraid to ask for an informational interview.  Shortly after the stage incident, I asked Kaite if she’d be willing to answer some questions about the literary field in exchange for coffee and muffins – and she said yes. You might be surprised by how often people are prepared to say yes. That interview gave me the information and confidence I needed to push for the next stage in my career – and, to be honest, meeting with people you admire, working at the stage above you, helps to get your name into the ring.
* Do your research. Research into the people and the fields you’re trying to connect with, and into the work you need to do. Creating a Life Worth Living by Carol Lloyd, and Beyond Talent by Angela Beeching were invaluable tools.
* Follow up! There’s no point in having those conversations, exchanging those emails, pencilling in dates, if you never make good on them. Set a reminder. And then set several more.
* Identify what it is you have to trade. Writing (and music) are notoriously shitty for paying in ‘exposure’. Nearly all of us have day jobs, and learning the balance between taking unpaid gigs while also learning how to negotiate yourself a living wage is a tough one. But there are times where I think it’s worth it to take unpaid work, and that’s where you’re able to trade something other than money. A singing lesson for an editing session, for example. A charity gig that will genuinely expand your base, while helping a good cause. Know your worth, know what you can give, and make sure you’re getting in return.

 

4. Allow for more time than you think you need

…and know that none of it is wasted if you choose to make use of what you learn.

Writing Trans Like Me

Writing the first draft in one week, 2016

Despite not seeing myself writing a work of popular non-fiction, I was fully convinced (in 2010) that I would be a published author by, say, 2014. I had been writing fiction for years, and had had interest from agents since my teens. I had a novel ready to sell, and was sure that my academic gender tome would be ready before long.

If I’d have known that it would take another seven years, I would have been utterly overwhelmed by that odious mixture of blocked ambition and total sense of failure familiar to so many of us.  It would have crushed me. And yet, of course – obviously – I couldn’t have written this book that I’m so proud of without all of those seven years – sense of failure and all.

Everything I’ve done in that time has helped me to become a better writer – everything. The additional personal hardships I’ve experienced have led me to a greater sense of compassion, an ability to sit with what is painful without the need to be flippant or caustic. All the additional years of teaching and training taught me better ways of expressing myself and communicating concepts unfamiliar to the listener or reader. Broadening the scope of my reading (my early blog posts are heavily influenced by the postgrad music psychology/psychotherapy research I was doing at the time) made my writing more legible. And, as much as it shouldn’t happen: experiencing incremental degrees of crap from strangers on the internet did help me learn how to protect myself – as much as anyone is able to.

For the first time, I’m able to contemplate temporal ‘setbacks’ with a sense of equanimity, rather than panic and shame. You have to get there on your own but, if you’re struggling with a sense of ‘wasting time’ or not being good enough fast enough, please know that you’re not the only one, and that you’re not condemned to feel that way forever.

 

5. Connect the dots

There will always be a glut of writers on the subject closest to your heart. No theme is original, and every field is crowded. But, if you’re going to try, I think the best way forward is to embrace everything particular to your own experience – especially the parts that don’t feel special – and connect the dots to find your place.

Obviously, that’s not how everyone does it. Plenty of people are prepared to lie about themselves, craft a fake persona, for the chance of a book deal: look at the success of Thug Kitchen. I’m sure they’ve made a hell of a lot more money than me.

But I know that what makes me go back to a particular blog, share it with my friends, pre-order a hardback I can’t really afford, is honesty. It’s the combination of experiences and insights that combine to make a truly unique guide to a subject you thought you knew, that allows you, once again, to find the extraordinary in the everyday. It’s watching someone use every talent they possess – whether that’s as a carer, a parent, a teacher, a patient, whatever – as another tool with which to reach their readers.

There are plenty of trans writers out there. There are plenty of non-trans people writing about trans lives. When I started blogging about trans issues, and my own trans life, I didn’t always see how every other part of me could factor in. But the more I did it, the more I allowed my barriers to drop, the more I could do – and the more useful it became.

I would always pick a writer that brings their total self to the page over one who thinks that a ‘writer’ is somehow not a total person. I think that a great many readers – and agents and editors – would agree.

Happy writing.

 

Couldn’t you just…not be trans?

May 18, 2017 § 4 Comments

Or: the ways in which disbelief and suppression hurt trans people. And how, despite it all, we resist.

Read it on The Pool here

I’ve checked in and realised how long it’s been since I’ve written here. The reason being that I’ve been caught up writing and editing my first book, Trans Like Me: A Journey for All of Us – published next Thursday on May 25th.

I’ll be writing more on that – what it means to move from blogging to long-form non-fiction, what I’ve hoped to do with the book, what it means for the next year – next week.

Until then, I really hope you enjoy the first extract from the book, linked above. And thank you for all of the support over the years – more on that too, to come.

 

 

Visibility is a tool to be wielded…

June 1, 2016 § 2 Comments

…not an end in itself. My latest piece in The Independent on mainstream trans narratives, Caitlyn Jenner’s one year anniversary of being out, and how we deserve better.

Share if you like it! Thank you

Trans Like Me: A Journey for All of Us

December 18, 2015 § 10 Comments

So, the reason posting here has been light of late is finally out in the open – my first book is set for publication November 2016, from Virago Books (Little, Brown).

I’m incredibly excited (and somewhat overawed) to get this chance. Thank you all for your support for my writing over the years – I hope to do you proud.

For total clarity: I’m (still!) not a woman – but Virago Books has always published a small number of works by male feminists in addition to their central aim of promoting works by all women (obv. including trans women). I’ve been bowled over by the team’s knowledge and support of trans issues and the need for real trans justice (including their very real acceptance of me as a genderqueer person). Feeling especially lucky to be working with my editor Ailah Ahmed from an intersectional feminist perspective. I’m still writing up, and I hope to have covered all the most pressing points – but if there are resources/points you want to send my way because IMPORTANT then I am very much all ears.

Official press release below, and links to my publisher’s and my agent’s websites.

Writing here will be light while the book is finished – but I think it’s going to be worth it. Thank you again.

 

Virago Press has acquired an agenda-setting title by CN Lester, a leading British LGBT activist specialising in transgender issues.

Commissioning Editor Ailah Ahmed acquired UK & Commonwealth rights to Trans Like Me: A Journey for All of Us by CN Lester from Laura Macdougall at Tibor Jones & Associates.

CN Lester takes the reader through the most pressing questions in the transgender debate, combined with a charged personal narrative of what it means to be a transgender person today. TRANS LIKE ME shows us how we are all defined by ideas of gender, whether we live our lives as he, she or they, and how we can strive for authenticity in a world which often seeks to limit us by way of labels. It also covers hotly contested topics such as the rise in referrals for gender variant children, feminism’s treatment of the trans community, and the mainstream media’s ‘trans moment’, among much more.

Virago nonfiction publishing has aimed to be at the forefront of discussions about gender identity and politics and so welcomes this title which expands our understanding of the new conversations around gender for a wider audience. Virago has always had a broad definition of what a feminist is and wants to ensure this book will reach a wide market.

CN Lester is an academic and activist who has acted as a consultant on trans issues to a broad range of organisations such as Channel 4, the BBC and the Huffington Post. They have written for New Statesmen, New Internationalist and the Feminist Times. Lester co-founded the first ever national UK group for young LGBT people.

TRANS LIKE ME: A JOURNEY FOR ALL OF US is scheduled for publication in November 2016.

Ailah Ahmed says, ‘This book blew me away by answering all the most topical questions about the new gender debate. Time magazine declared 2014 the year of the ‘Transgender Tipping Point’, and the experiences of those affected by these issues have now entered the mainstream. Virago is delighted to welcome CN Lester to the list with this ground-breaking new exploration of trans lives. TRANS LIKE ME has all the power of Living Dolls by Natasha Walter in really engaging with the zeitgeist. It is also a very moving account of what it means to be a trans person today. ’

CN Lester says, ‘So many of my formative feminist moments came through reading Virago titles – I’m absolutely thrilled to be joining them as an author. As a trans feminist, it was vital for me to find a publisher and editor who understand the broader implications of the current trans movement: how gender affects us all, how the fight for trans rights fits into a feminist debate, and how important it is to take an intersectional approach. I’m proud to be working with a team who have (quite rightly) already included trans women in their remit, and who support authors such as myself – genderqueer people, cis and trans men – who are working on issues of gendered oppression and justice. TRANS LIKE ME is, quite genuinely, a book for all of us – I’m so grateful to both Ailah and my agent Laura for believing in it.’

Laura Macdougall says, ‘I’m delighted that Virago will be publishing CN Lester’s ground-breaking TRANS LIKE ME. It’s a combination of author and publisher which I’m sure will make this a landmark publication in 2016. In TRANS LIKE ME, CN Lester helps us navigate a rapidly changing field of gender identity and debate, delving into the historical, biological and psychological concepts that inform our sense of what sex and gender are and in doing so provides an exciting new way of looking at the world.’

For more information about CN Lester and their work, visit their website at http://www.cnlester.com/ and follow them on Twitter

For US rights please contact Laura Macdougall (laura@tiborjones.com) and for foreign rights please contact Charlotte Maddox (charlotte@tiborjones.com).

 

Virago

Tibor Jones

No “Specific Detriment”

September 12, 2015 § 3 Comments

If you’re a trans person in the UK, you might well be waking up to a rather unpleasant email from the Ministry of Justice, in response to a popular petition demanding that trans people of all genders be able to legally define our own status. The full text is here – I’m a little too upset to do it justice, but mealy-mouthed, lazy and inhumane is a start:

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/104639?reveal_response=yes

Buried at the end of the text are these choice lines:

The Equality Act 2010 protects people from discrimination if it arises from their being perceived as either male or female. We recognise that a very small number of people consider themselves to be of neither gender. We are not aware that that results in any specific detriment, and it is not Government policy to identify such people for the purpose of issuing non-gender-specific official documents.

As a genderqueer trans person, it beggars belief that the discrimination and abuse I’ve suffered not be considered “specific detriment” – and a lot of other people outside of the binary feel the same way.

Please – if you’re able to, fill in this document and spread the word. Beyond the Binary, a UK-based organisation for all people who don’t fit the gender binary, are collecting responses.

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1KVxWylAipD8KcUrWHSCe5Axg07TRtE2uBETjRlgj6P4/viewform?c=0&w=1

Tweet with the hashtag #SpecificDetriment, email your local groups, stick it up on Tumblr – anyway you can spread the word is vital.

 

They can refuse to acknowledge us – but like fuck will they lie about what we suffer.

Ask an Agony Auncle*

September 4, 2015 § Leave a comment

*Not an Aunt, not an Uncle, but something much harder to pronounce, and far more genderqueer.

I’m delighted to say that I’ve joined the team at Beyond the Binary magazine as their advice columnist, dealing with questions around gender, transitioning, discrimination, relationships..anything that intersects with the huge umbrella of trans-related things.

So far we’ve discussed with fear of change in transitioning and coming out in the workplace (while dealing with families). A new column comes out every fortnight.

Questions? Advice sought? You can email beyondthebinaryuk@gmail.com and I’ll do my best. I don’t claim to have all the answers – but I am here to listen, and to point anyone interested towards resources that can help.

Please do share with any groups you think would find this helpful. Thank you so much.

Open letter to Pride in London – publication and follow up

July 24, 2015 § Leave a comment

First – thank you all so very much for your support, and for bearing with over the past few days – it’s been hectic to say the least.

So So Gay have published our open letter to London Pride, drawn together by Jacq Applebee and myself – and signed by over 100 organisations and individuals. Do please have a read, and spread the word.

Pride in London have sent us a private response, and a request for a private meeting – similar responses from their Board have been sent to the media organisations covering this story.

I believe that, as a public community matter, this is best dealt with openly within the community. So, below the fold, is my response to their response. It’s all getting very long winded.

But before that – I just wanted to say that if you do care about Pride in London, if you have any ideas of how you want it to be – please let them know: info@prideinlondon.org

They may not listen, they may not agree, they may not act – but they can’t say that they haven’t be told.

Thank you again for your support.

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