To the writers of hateful comments

October 21, 2014 § 9 Comments



You may not have heard from me before but fret not – I’ve heard from you. Messages on social media, and comments on essays I’ve written for other websites – but, mostly, comments you leave here. You’ll have noticed that I don’t let them through which, I imagine, is the reaction you expect when you leave them. Talk of ‘echo chambers’ and the like.


Admittedly, I don’t want my readers to have to deal with that level of hatred but, mostly, I just don’t see the point of clicking ‘approve’ – not when the comments you leave can be found just about everywhere on the Internet wherever trans people are mentioned.

Because this is the thing – regardless of what I write about, the actual thrust of the piece, there are only ever three comments that you leave (I paraphrase for length, not content):


1. Trans people are sick in the head, and you’re a man in a dress. You all need to stop pretending/see a doctor/cease to exist. You disgust me.


2. Trans people are sick in the head and a threat to real women-born-women. You’re a man in a dress, and you all need to stop pretending/see a doctor/stop coming into women’s spaces/cease to exist. You disgust me.


3. Trans people are sick in the head and a threat to real women-born-women. You’re a confused woman, and you all you all need to stop pretending/see a doctor/stop coming into women’s spaces/cease to exist. You disgust me, but I pity you.


What’s with that? The stock responses – responses that remain the same regardless of whether you’re ‘replying’ to a piece on language, or relationships, or (most often) a comment on a comment lost somewhere way down in the archives. You seem to have taken the time to browse this blog – at length – and yet it all seems to trigger exactly the same set of sentiments in you. I take the time to write something that I hope has at least a little original value (though, obviously, hugely influenced by every theorist/activist I’ve ever read or worked with) – but nothing seems to make a difference to the comment that you leave.


And so, given that, the question I wanted to ask you is this: are you simply incapable of forming an individual response to the existence of trans people, or is it that you’re plain unwilling?

I guess there’s not much that can be done with the former, but the latter – why? Do you know? Do you want to know? Why would you not want to know? Does it actually make sense? Where did it come from?


And does it actually make your life, anyone’s life, any better?  What are you so afraid of?

§ 9 Responses to To the writers of hateful comments

  • Tracy says:

    People who write with hate probably really only know how to live with hate. They have no concept of an open mind or heart.

  • Emily says:

    what I don’t get is how some people think their personal experience of the world is the only one that must exist.

  • Emily says:

    ie, “I’m not trans, therefore it isn’t real”.

  • lizridgway says:

    Its the concept of repression, which explains the emotional malaise and irrational attitudes displayed by some individuals who feel guilty about their own struggle to deny and repress the exploration of their own gender identity. Our visibility threatens to excite their own unwanted thoughts of gender dissonance and they overreact with panic, anger, physical, verbal and emotional violence.

  • Joyful Girl says:

    Oh how horrible you get those kinds of comments; I had no idea. 😦 I am curious if any hateful commenters will reply to your question; I’ve never seen anyone hateful be willing to self-reflect and examine their hate. Or consider anyone else’s feelings for that matter.

  • Jo says:

    To Joyful Girl…well I’d be very surprised if this post by CN didn’t elicit at least the usual quota of hate comments, and I’d also be surprised if they varied much from the standard formula. Though the haters might be a bit extra annoyed now I guess having been called on their hate. Bullies always get extra angry when someone starts to stand up to them.

    To CN…keep on doing what you do. I can quite imagine the kind of stuff you get. Apart from the head shaking unoriginality of most of it (inspiring the reaction on reading, I’d suspect, of “Wow. This is THE best you’ve got is it? 3.8 billion years of evolution, and this is IT?”) and the temptation to react with quips like “Were you born a f**king idiot, or do you practice?”, you might consider opening a Little Box of Hate on the site somewhere? I’ve seen this done on other sites, where the haters comments all go, in a special place with each other, so that people who aren’t vicious, small minded bigots can ‘visit’ and stare?

  • rimonim says:

    Yikes, I am really sorry to hear people leave this bullshit on your blog!

  • Dionysus Amber says:

    I’m so glad you wrote this. I too have had some quite-dreadful comments! These people ought to find something else to do. And leave us bloggers in peace and harmony.

  • meggiemom says:

    Reblogged this on meggiemom342 and commented:
    i dont discriminate social media just social services for causing so much pain to innocent famillies

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