infamous multiple orgasm brownies

November 16, 2010 § 12 Comments

So called for three reasons:

1) If you haven’t been having any multiple orgasms for a while, I’ll think you’ll find a great deal of solace in a batch of these brownies.

2) If you’ve found someone you’d like to invite to join you in the pursuit of multiple orgasms then I would advise you to add this recipe to your seductive arsenal.

AND FINALLY

3) Having been lucky enough to find a person or people to share multiple orgasms with, there is no greater reviver than these brownies – a midnight snack to extend the amorous exploration of delight, if you will.

So, I present – the pinnacle of my baking career – CN Lester’s infamous brownies:

(Oh, and before we start, may I remind everyone – brownies are not cake. They shouldn’t rise like cake, you don’t mix them like cake, you don’t bake them like cake – leave them be)

200g dark chocolate (70% to 85% – if you use cheap chocolate you will suffer for it, I promise you)

200g white chocolate

175g salted butter

125g dark brown sugar

200g caster sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

4 eggs

130g plain flour

Preheat oven to 180c and line a brownie pan.

Roughly chop the white chocolate and put to one side.

In a large (preferably non-stick) pan, gently melt the butter and dark chocolate.

Take pan off the heat and stir in the sugars. You’ll end up with a rather granular mixture – this is how it SHOULD be.

Stir in the vanilla, and then beat in each egg with a wooden spoon, one by one, stirring vigorously all the while to avoid setting the eggs. The resulting mixture should be glossily unctuous – very similar in consistency to home-made mayonnaise.

Fold in the flour until just combined and then stir in the chopped white chocolate. Pour into lined brownie pan and bake for 30 mins.

Wait.

There is no point to this picture – I just wanted to share the fact that this is what I had for lunch – leftover brownie batter.

Voila! Your brownies are done – DO NOT LEAVE THEM IN THE OVEN ANY LONGER. They may not be all that set by this point – you have to leave them to cool. So long as you have the distinctive crust on the top of the brownie then you should be fine. Now leave the pan in a cool place and forget about it for several hours.

Of course, if necessary, you always have the option of eating it straight from the pan. I won’t judge you.

However, if you’ve managed to keep away – turn the brownie out onto a chopping board (keeping the lining paper on) and chop into pieces with a sharp knife. How you serve is to you – but I find it’s less messy to put a small piece into a muffin cup.

Oh – and nothing is ever as good if you forget the edible glitter. Don’t forget the edible glitter. It’s the closest we’ll ever come to eating a rainbow.

Variations are many. My favourites include:

* Sour berries: halve the quantity of white chocolate and add bucket loads of sour dried cherries, dried blueberries, dried cranberries or a mix thereof.

* Rum and raisin: Soak a whole bunch of sultanas in a good quality rum and add to the mixture. Swap 100g milk chocolate for the white chocolate.

* Spiced: Add a teaspoon of cinnamon, a teaspoon of ginger and a quarter teaspoon of cayenne pepper (adjust all these for taste). This is great with chunks of Green and Blacks ‘Maya Gold’.

What are you waiting for? Get baking!

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§ 12 Responses to infamous multiple orgasm brownies

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