Gosh, that’s going to get you laid

September 21, 2010 § Leave a comment

Most of the street harassment I get falls neatly into two categories: trans/homophobic or, to a greater or lesser extent, *suggestive*.

First category is always dull.

Adjective (fucking/filthy) + noun (faggot/dyke/queer/pervert) + obscene hand gesture/threatening movement/spittle

The second leaves you with more options. Feeling romantic?

Your eyes…you have such beautiful eyes…

Need a visa? Because I’d marry you…

Or, you know, the usual frightening sexual, um, suggestions:

I’d do you up the arse

Bet you’re gagging for it

Suck this, darling

But sometimes you get something so stupid, it actually feels like a little gift. A horrible little gift, mind you – but at least it’s different. I was rushing for a train, coffee in hand, three bags on my back – and an older gentleman stepped into my path. He leant in close and showed his appreciation with a virile growl, much like the mighty tiger wooing his mate. Well, he tried to. What came out was a strangled, asthmatic kind of ‘Rrrraawl?’

I was a fool to let him go.

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