So, I read a fantastic article on the supposed phenomenon of “butch flight” today – and, in the course of discussing it, an excellent point emerged about entitlement. About how entitled a person must feels themselves to be, to assume that they know the reasons for someone else’s transition. To know how to feels to have a particular mind and a particular body and a particular disconnect between elements of the two. To know which identity is actually welcome, and which is a label attached from the outside. How someone else should make peace with themselves. How someone else should express the physical embodiment of their selfhood. How someone else understands the unique personal combination of bodily presence and libidinal drive.
And, of course, the entitlement necessary to say: “I want you, I desire you – stay looking like the fixed object of my desire, so that I can pretend that what you look like is who you are. Because what you look like to me IS who you are.” Telling a person to be what they’re not, essentially, in hope of sexual and emotional gratification. And then I thought about the fact that the people complaining about butch flight are so often the ones misrepresenting the cotton ceiling debate as creepy trans women feeling entitled enough to claim unfettered access to cis women’s bodies – and I laughed and laughed.
Everyone – go read some Jung.